


i haven't loved you since we were eighteen

by sunset_oasis



Series: Love of the Serpents [18]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (draco malfoy becomes seeker a year later than in canon for plot purposes), Lovers to Friends, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, Sort Of, canon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 13:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_oasis/pseuds/sunset_oasis
Summary: "Thing is, Higgs, you're kind of an 'out of sight, out of mind' person," Cassius remarks. For a moment, Terence prepares to retort instinctively, before pausing to think for a moment.Maybe heis.He takes a sip of firewhiskey from the bottle, and says, "We've all been quite busy after graduation, haven't we?"Cassius doesn't reply to the question, and instead gestures to the sports section of Daily Prophet with Marcus Flint's face plastered across it. "Do you ever, like, miss him?"





	i haven't loved you since we were eighteen

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
> 
> a/n: so i've been wanting to write some fic based on the lyrics "i have loved you since we were eighteen", but like in HP they all met at 11 which makes this a bit difficult to write lol. and then the solution came to my mind ...

 

 

 

When he was younger, Terence thought some things would last forever. Intense friendships, Quidditch team brotherhood, flying into the sunset together – those sort of things. As he grows older, he isn't sure which is worse – the fact that those things he once thought would be forever could fade away so easily, or the fact that he doesn't seem to be that bothered about it.

He briefly wonders a younger him would be disappointed by his attitude now, and then shrugs it away.

Perhaps this is all just a step of growing up.

 

* * *

 

"Thing is, Higgs, you're kind of an 'out of sight, out of mind' person," Cassius remarks. For a moment, Terence prepares to retort instinctively, before pausing to think for a moment.

Maybe he  _is_.

He takes a sip of firewhiskey from the bottle, and says, "We've all been quite busy after graduation, haven't we?"

Cassius doesn't reply to the question, and instead gestures to the sports section of Daily Prophet with Marcus Flint's face plastered across it. "Do you ever, like, miss him?"

Terence can't help as a half-amused, half-fond smile climbs up his face. Does he ever miss Marcus? Of course he does. Those fond memories of the years on Slytherin Quidditch team, practicing from dawn to dusk on weekends, crazy parties after winning a game that went from the common room to fumbling in the dormitory. They'd been the closest to each other, the craziest, the most passionate about the game.

He knows he loves – correction,  _loved_  – Marcus. Loved him like a brother, like a teammate, like a best friend all mixed up together and somehow it all fused into something bigger, something more, igniting fires and exploding in the midair like glorious fireworks.

Fireworks, glorious as they might be, turns out not to be eternal.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't that they had some major falling out or big fight or something. It's just that – sometimes people drift apart as they get older.

They didn't break up, at first, when Marcus had to repeat another year at Hogwarts, and Terence got a job at France. They wrote to each other, made time for visits during holiday – until the frequency decreased slowly, until some of the passion they once had seemed to fade. Until they finally talked about it and decided maybe it was best to return to friends.

It was amicable, all things considered.

"I'll always miss him," Terence answers Cassius, which is the truth.

He'll always miss Marcus, and all those younger years that sometimes seemed like another lifetime now. He misses those days, and the younger versions of themselves. He misses it with fierce nostalgia, but it isn't like, unbearable.

It isn't unbearable enough to make him to try to keep the fire between them going, to sacrifice his career and just go back and hope everything would continue forever. Because people grow up, first love intensities fade, life moves on and you meet new friends.

Terence thinks about Marcus, and the way he would shout excitedly on the pitch. The way they used to race in the sky, the way they sneaked into the kitchen in late nights after practice. He thinks about Marcus's fierceness, his passion, the way he blocks a Quaffle with a last-second save and the way the Slytherin crowds would cheer.

He thinks about how Marcus's kisses tasted like fire, burning as bright as the sun. About those times they fooled around the prefect's bath, about those times in the broom closet.

Cassius eyes him, and drawls out slowly, "Do you miss  _him_ , or do you just miss who you both had been?"

Terence just gives him a lopsided smirk, "Isn't it all the same, anyway?"

 

* * *

 

The 'out of sight, out of mind' description probably isn't inaccurate. But Terence prefers to think of himself just – living in the moment, or something. And sometimes, living in the moment means you can't keep thinking about the past forever.

No matter how glorious the past seems, especially when you put on the lenses of nostalgia.

He's pretty sure he loved Marcus – probably was deeply in love, too, at some point. Living in the moment, and all that. In a way, he still loves him, probably always will. But it isn't the same now. It'll never be the same again, and maybe that's okay.

 

* * *

 

"So, you coming back to Britain for his wedding?" Cassius asks carefully, and Terence bursts out laughing at his cautiousness. Seriously. He and Marcus might be ex-boyfriends, but they are still first and foremost friends. Even if they don't keep in touch as often as they once were.

"Sure, of course," he laughs.  _After all, I haven't loved him since we were eighteen._

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://ff-sunset-oasis.tumblr.com)


End file.
